White guilt is a sudden-onset disease that can affect the brain's empathy centers (leading patients to process nothing from other people's perspectives), the frontal lobe (patients may purchase a thousand-dollar safety pin), and sight (patients are often unable to see color). Effects vary based on several factors, such as the number of "Atlanta" episodes watched and the number of "Gilmore Girls" mugs owned. Some patients display mild symptoms (righteous-anger-induced indigestion on Thanksgiving; overpronouncing Mindy Kaling's name; insistent misuse of the word "intersectional"). Treatment for these symptoms can be purchased over the counter. More severe cases can involve cognitive-dissonance-induced seizures when faced with, for example, a really good "Inside Amy Schumer" sketch.